Kristjan Vingel

Crabs in a bucket

July 14, 2019

We want to fit in and that’s what we’re being told to do. We want to be different, but not to the extent that we stand out. Standing out means moving up and being different. Try to stand out too much, and you can see some people around you feel the threat and try to pull you back down.

It’s the crabs in a bucket mentality. Apparently, if you put a bunch of crabs in a bucket, none of them gets out even though any one crab could easily escape. The other crabs will make sure no individual crab will get out. “If I can’t have it, neither can you.”

The reason people do this is, is because it messes up the group dynamic. In a group, everyone knows their place and status. If one individual starts to improve himself, the dynamic starts to change. People don’t like that. People, in general, don’t like anything new, so they try to prevent that from happening. They want everything to be as it used to be.

Let’s say there’s a group of friends. They like to drink, play video games, occasionally smoke weed, watch memes and generally just derp around. Now, imagine, one of the guys is sick and tired of this and starts reading books, exercising, eating healthy, and improving himself. Would the other friends like that?

There’s a big chance they will not. You can probably imagine them giving poisonous remarks such as “Why you read that self-help crap?” or “So, you’re a health freak now?”.

If one in the group is moving up in life, it sheds a spotlight on the others. They know they should be improving too, but that’s hard. It’s a lot easier to suck together and rationalize by playing a victim. By blaming the government and the system.

Of course, some people will be encouraging. These people are rarer. These are the people you should hang out with.

The first type of people are in a downward spiral, and the ones who are inspired are in an upward spiral. You’re moving up in life, or you’re moving down. There’s no standing in the middle. If you’re not moving up, it doesn’t mean you’re standing still. No, you’re moving down.

If you can’t relate this to real life, see the comments on any video where someone shows his or her success. E.g., go see the comments on the famous Tai Lopez video “Here in My Garage” on Youtube.

Instead of being inspired, most of the commentators are bitter. Instead of commenting something like “Wow, that is so dope, one day I’ll drive a Lambo,” they say “Yeah yeah we get it u have a lambo don’t rub it in our face” or something similar.

They don’t get it, that this video is meant to inspire people. To show what’s possible and that it’s important to read books.

If you ever come across people who try to drag you down, when you are moving up, get rid of them. It sounds harsh, but these people will not help you and instead undermine you. You won’t resonate with them anymore anyway, and because you’re moving up, you will resonate with new people who are on the same wavelength as you are.

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Kristjan Vingel